Remembering Rose Tibayan: My Mentor, My Friend

It all started 30 years ago —

I was watching TV when Rose Tibayan appeared, delivering the news with remarkable grace and professionalism. At that moment, I knew I had to reach out to her. What began with a simple email blossomed into a friendship that profoundly changed my life.

Rose was more than a mentor; she was an anchor in the shifting sands of my career and personal life. Her guidance was not just about journalistic integrity or crafting the perfect story but also about fostering resilience and compassion within myself. Rose's wisdom extended beyond the newsroom; she taught me how to navigate the complexities of life with grace and empathy.

Back in my early days at KWES-TV in Midland, Texas, and later at Philly TV News, Rose was always there for me. I would send her my stories, and she provided feedback with a depth of compassion that only someone who truly cared could offer. She wasn't just my mentor; she became a real friend, always finding time for me, no matter how busy she was. Our relationship was deeply rooted in a mutual expression of gratitude that reinforced our bond.

I'll never forget one unexpectedly rainy day in Philadelphia. I had just finished covering a story, completely drenched from the downpour, and burdened with all my television equipment as a one-man band reporter. Just when I thought I'd have to navigate the wet city streets alone, the WPVI-TV Eyewitness News Van pulled up beside me. Rose was in the passenger seat, her face lighting up with recognition and warmth, and her photographer at the wheel. They rescued me, driving me back to my television station on Market Street. It turned a miserable day into an unexpected adventure, and it's a cherished memory that Rose and I would revisit often, laughing every time.

This memory came alive once more during my last visit to see Rose and her husband, Don, in Chicago, just two months before she passed away. As we sank into the plush couches in their cozy living room, the laughter and warmth filled the space as we traveled down memory lane, revisiting not just that day, but countless moments that defined our enduring friendship. Don, such an incredible husband and human being, made sure Rose and I were taken care of during the visit—from bringing us warm brie to driving me back to the Hilton in Chicago so Rose and I could hug one last time.

Rose’s influence in my life was profound, guiding me through both journalism and personal challenges. When she decided to write RÉSUMÉTAPEBOOK: The Job-Hunting Handbook for Television Journalists, it felt like an extension of her nurturing spirit. Amid contributions from many news professionals, Rose made sure to include my journey in her book. She knew all my stories from Houston and asked me to write a chapter about my work as a reporter there. This wasn’t just a professional request; it was her way of saying, "You matter, and I am proud of you." Rose never forgot me on any project; I was always part of her journey. This gesture made our connection feel even more special.

Rose's influence permeated every aspect of my life. When I faced personal trials, such as the loss of my mother to sarcoma cancer or my own divorce, Rose was there—not just as a shoulder to lean on, but as a beacon of strength and wisdom, guiding me through my darkest hours. Her unwavering support helped me emerge stronger and more determined to face whatever came my way.

When my husband, Ken Lemon, was elected as the 23rd national president of the National Association of Black Journalists, Rose was one of the first people I informed. She was thrilled by the news and expressed a deep joy for our successes. With Rose’s health declining and knowing that she and Ken had yet to meet, she and Don invited us to spend a few days with them in Chicago just before the first NABJ convention under Ken’s presidency. The intention was to allow Rose and me more time together and to allow them to meet Ken, forming new memories. Sadly, Rose passed away before we could create another cherished memory together with the loves of our lives.

In November, after Rose shared with me that she was nearing the end of her life, I wanted to give her something that would last and continue to bring her joy. I chose a bouquet from La Fleur Bouquets, known for their "Flowers That Last Forever." These weren't ordinary flowers; they were designed to endure, mirroring the lasting impact Rose had on my life. When I sent them, Rose texted me back, "Kortni, thank you for the beautiful roses! They are gorgeous and I will forever cherish them." 🌹🥰 Her words affirmed the deep bond we shared, filled with mutual appreciation and support.

This past Mother’s Day, I sent Rose a text that I believe captures how deeply I cherish her: "Happy Mother’s Day, Rose! I loved every minute spending it with you and Don in Chicago a few weeks ago. It reminded me of all the good times. You have always been there for me as a mentor, sister, and friend with the soul of a mom. You have protected me. You have praised me. You are a true phenomenal woman. I treasure you and honor you on our special day. I love you."

To celebrate her, I plan to always live my life like Rose did—providing support to others every step of the way. In lieu of flowers, Rose asked for donations to her cherished organizations, one of which is the Asian American Journalists Association. Today, I made a recurring donation to the AAJA Mental Health and Wellness Fund in her honor. I know she would support me in supporting the organization where we created many memories together, and as a happiness scholar focused on training news leaders on workplace well-being, it feels right to support the well-being of asian american journalists in this way.

Now, Rose is present in my life in a different, yet profoundly meaningful way. She is like the sun I see out of my window—her influence brightening each day. She is the warmth I feel in my home, a constant, comforting presence that surrounds me. And she is in the roses that bloom around me, a reminder of her beauty and the grace she brought into my life. Among these cherished tokens is a Tiffany & Co. heart-shaped paperweight, a gift from Rose more than 15 years ago. This elegant glass heart has been more than just a beautiful object on my desk; it has been a constant companion through my life's transitions, from Texas to Georgia, Maryland, and now my home in North Carolina. Each move, each change, this heart has followed, a tangible reminder of Rose's enduring presence and unwavering support in my life.

Additionally, the Hello Kitty gifts she gave me over the years serve as playful yet thoughtful reminders to always be authentically myself, a value Rose championed and celebrated in every gesture of friendship.

Rose taught me the importance of how we show up in life. Remember, she was someone I initially saw on television. She delivered the news, wrote profound stories, interviewed prominent people. She could have ignored my email or responded awfully curt, but like the flower rose, she was full of love. Rose just didn't show up in my life; it's how she showed up—present, protective, and purposeful along the way.