Episode 86 Transcript

transcript for episode

Welcome to Episode 86. I'm Dr. Kortni Alston, I am so happy that you're here. Thank you so much for listening. So let's talk. Let's talk this week about quiet, quitting. And then we're going to talk about how quitting? Well, we'll ask the question that is, if quitting can make you happy, or happier, right? So if you're like me, you're probably wondering, what is quiet quitting? It isn't quitting with a lower voice. Um, but and I say all that jokingly, because I stumbled on quiet quitting, checking out different videos on YouTube searching for my next topic to talk about. And there was I found this video that talks about actress I found several videos that talk about quiet quitting. So quiet quitting is really a dynamic of the great resignation. And so what I could gather from the information that I was able to see online and to hear, instead of physically leaving a job, quiet quitting, is when a person mentally checks out of work. With my understanding of again, my my research online, the person does, does enough not to get fired, or they're doing the very minimum, or at least they're trying to take care, their workflow, but not adding on any more extra, if you know what I mean, right. And these are the things I kind of gathered, as I was looking around after watching a video or two on YouTube, talking about quiet, quitting. So the happiness scholar in me says, Hmm, but what does it mean to one's happiness? And that's when I found an article that we're going to talk about today now isn't a cyfle article is not about quiet quitting. But it's a talks about quitting. And I think it's an important topic to share. Because quite quitting really kind of inspired this, because it talks about another dynamic as it relates to the great resignation, right, as it relates to the result of the pandemic, as it relates to individuals really beginning to re evaluate their work. So I thought this is a great opportunity to look at quitting, quitting. So I found an insightful article. And the headline is, people are quitting their jobs and record numbers. Here's why it might not make you any happier. And it's published by CNBC and written by Jay chakotay. And you can find the entire article by going to Dr. Kortni Alston.com, forward slash podcast, forward slash Episode 86, that D-R-K-O-R-T-N-I-A-L-S-T-O-N dot com forward slash episode 86. So there's two experts that I greatly admire that are in the article that share their expertise. And I wanted to kind of talk about the dynamics of the article we will go into what they have shared. And also some things for you to think about as relates to the article itself. So the lead in this article was, well actually talks about data that was published.

I think it's important to reference when the article was published, I should say, it's because it reflects data in terms of that period. So this article was published on June 25, 2021. And so, it gives data of nearly 4 million quit their jobs. And these are 4 million Americans who nearly quit their jobs in April of that year. Right. So, reasons for quitting. They mentioned Ken Berry, from better pay the shift from the pandemic, right to how maybe individuals begin to see work, especially as it relates to work from home life, burnout, and dissatisfaction when it comes down to work. So the great the greater question is, Can quitting your job, make you feel happier? And so I love that they talked to Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Sonja is an incredible, incredible happiness scholar Matta fact, when I first entered into positive psychology, I was advised by my dissertation, member and mentor at the University of Florida, and he teaches positive psychology at the University of Florida, Florida's College, no, sorry, University of Florida psychology department, I still often share my other department were actually got my degree, which is the University of Florida College of Journalism and Communication. Well, he comes out of the psychology department, he's the one that really guided me through positive psychology. And this scholar, Sonia, Dr. Sonja. She is actually one of the first books he recommended that I read. Um, and, and so I really greatly admire her and after that I was, you know, checking out another book that she's written in reading all of the scholarly articles that she's written, and, of course, citing her in my own work. So she says that quitting your job might make you happy at first, at first, but that feeling may not last long. And let me reference, she is the author of, you know, two of the books that are in my happiness library, which happen to be the How to happiness, and myths of happiness. And you can actually order those books on the podcast page to support this podcast. So the episode page is to say, you can actually order her books on the episode page to help support this podcast. And that said, DrKortniAlston dot com, forward slash podcast forward-slash episode 86. So what I love so much is what she shares in regards to really having us think a little bit deeper in regards to the dynamics of quitting. So he goes when making changes, right. And, you know, we can focus on, you know, immediate change and how it will make us feel. But that not might not always happen a month later. So, she also mentions, it may be only a day a week, or maybe a month before you adapt back to new problems that bubble up. And of course, she talks about hedonic adaptation. And people, as she mentioned, have a general tendency to return to a set of levels of happiness. So the set level of happiness despite life's ups and downs. And so here, I'm going to quote her, and she, and she says, when we think of, oh, the day I quit, is going to be so amazing. I don't have to deal with that boss anymore, or that work anymore. It's amazing.

She says, hedonic adaptation leads us to get used to the positive change, and our expectations become a bit higher. So quitting a job you don't like, can contribute to overall happiness. Because as you mentioned, the goal and the pursuit in itself are associated with happiness. But she also adds quote, But they shouldn't just put all of their hopes in that one basket and quote, so what should you do? Right? Then what is the next best thing? Right? Well, it's about asking questions and beginning to interview you. So, Dr. Annie McKee is another amazing scholar, and it's Dr. Annie McKee, excuse me, and she's the author of How to Be happy at work. Um, and it's interesting, because here I am in the, in the cording happiness Studio, and I'm looking at her book as we speak, beautiful yellow book in regards to very much an incredible read, concerning how to be happy at work. And again, you can purchase her book also by visiting the episode page of this podcast at Dr. Kortni Alston dot com. Forward slash podcast forward-slash episode 86. So she adds that, quote, think long and hard about what it is about their current job that is making them unhappy, and get really clear about that. And McKee also mentioned this, she mentioned the importance of really only a few things that make people happy, can make people you know, hate a job can be either dealing with certain levels of leadership may be a culture commute. But what I really also value is that she said she shares is important to get clear about what your issues are. So you don't make the same mistake. Again, she also shares this, quote, you also need to know what you want, and what you like to find in this new chapter of your life. And quote, that in itself is powerful. Right? Because quitting one job, and then feeling that “Wow, yes, I Finally Quit.” I'm out of there, right? Well, yeah, what I love so much about what these two incredible scholars are sharing, is really just the value of thinking about what you don't like about that job, and really processing it. So, you're not walking into the same thing, but a different address. Have you ever been there before? Right. I used to hear that about like, relationships, I remember, hearing people say that same guy, different name kind of thing. Right? But when you think about it, if you don't spend enough time thinking about what don't I like about this? Or what, what are the reasons why I feel this way? Right? Because it can be so enlightening to find out what it is. So you can make different choices that are going to serve you for your next chapter. Right? This new wonderful opportunity. So she also mentioned, it's really not a question of can you be happy when you quit your job? She mentioned Oh, yeah, you know, you definitely can, rather more of a question of what are you want? Why are you leaving? So what are you leaving? What do you no longer want in your work life? And more importantly, what do you want? What do you want? She also suggests this, this is Dr. McKee. And she wants you to think about three things. We've talked about this before on the podcast, so I love to hear it again. And her number one happens to be fine. Your WHY? She says you need to really first figure out what fulfills you. And it really gives you purpose in your work. what's meaningful to you? I always add, always share with individuals, right?

What is that work that fulfills you? And what are certain things on the job? Maybe it's not necessarily that position. Maybe there are certain things that you really value doing within your work. And then you're looking for other things that you may want to continue to build skills on. Maybe it's because you want to be able to grow in another fashion. So you know, think about what is your why. And I think that's so important in anything in life is always thinking about what's your why. Right, What's your purpose here? I always would share with members of my team when I was working in management, and I often would talk to members about legacy in regards to what do you hope to achieve? What do you hope to achieve? And it's interesting because Stephen Covey, right. author Stephen Covey, the author of seven habits of effective, successful people, I feel like I just really butchered that his title there, but Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I think that's it. And one of the things that I really value so much about Covey is he talks about thinking with the end in mind. And so to me, every time I go into a work dynamic, and I'm thinking about legacy, what do I hope to achieve here? How, how am I going to be of service? What is my legacy? And that for me speaks as relates to purpose. Number two, she says think long term. I like that think long term. She says, when you're looking for a new job, she advises the people that she coaches to think more long-term and visualize the kind of lifestyle that you ultimately want. Wow, that is powerful. Because it's not simply, Yay, I'm out of this job, right? Because it's thinking about it long term. It almost makes me think of like, I love my microwave. I love it. I love my microwave. I mean, I can I went once I was I opened the door, and I put whatever in there like my edamame a, well, I have several times a week, guys, because I just love at a mommy, or I used to actually pop a lot of popcorn. But I think at a mommy has had now come into this whole dynamic replaces popcorn for me. Right? Ever since I made this transition, to change my lifestyle to vegan. But when I go and I'm at the microwave, and I put something in, I want to get it pretty fast. Right? I'm goanna get it pretty fast. And so it's not thinking about that short term gratification is thinking in terms of the long run, what is the ultimate, ultimate lifestyle for you, as it relates to your work, think about that, process it. And I love the visualization of it. Because it allows you to feel in the presence of it too when you begin to visualize it, you see it, you feel it, and you really sit with it. So, here's the last one. Number three, she says think about your future co-workers. Think about your future coworkers she goes is important to think about the kind of people you want to work with, and search for companies and industries that have those kinds of individuals. She also says that ask yourself these things. Are they creative? Do they share your values or interest? And she mentioned people you surround yourself with at work matter. So who are these individuals? I liked that she mentioned, are they creative? Oh, I love that she talks about shared values. Do they share your values in regards to innovating in the workplace? Or maybe its values as it relates to giving back? Maybe they are a socially responsible company, right? And believe in corporate responsibility and really being able to serve the world. Maybe they're great global citizens.

 Right? Maybe they're an organization that values work-life and they have a great employee wellness program. Maybe they value compassionate work. Maybe they're really been outspoken as relates to workplace wellbeing. And they think about really the value of their employees and make sure that their employees take care of themselves, as well as their families. And they have been and this is incorporated within their workplace, whatever that looks like to you. I love the fact that she is really reminding or maybe for some of us it may be hearing us for the first time. The value of really understanding what your needs are and honoring your needs. And I love how she shared that people you surround yourself with at work matter All right, it really matters. Especially if you're dealing with psychological safety. Maybe you are in the workplace, and you just don't feel, you know, psychologically, you just do not feel safe there. Right? So think about what this new chapter looks like. So if you're ready to quit your job, these questions really give you great insight from leading happiness scholars around the world. It allows you to think long-term about your journey at work, really the meaningfulness in work in regards to your work, and finding a workplace that speaks to your core values, and beliefs. And what I love so much about it, that we often think about job interviews, but you kind of need to do an interview with yourself, do some thinking and processing. What yourself, meditate on that? Right? Really sit with it and think about what this new chapter looks like. Or maybe it's, Hey, Dr. Kortni, I actually like my company, I'm not trying to quit the company, I just don't really care for what I'm doing within the company structure, well, then start to think about what that looks like. And think about how you're going to reposition yourself, the people that you're surrounded with that can that you're serving, and that they can serve you that may be but also help you as relates to this position. So maybe it may not necessarily mean quitting the company. Right? Maybe for someone out there who's listening, it might you might be saying, well, I actually like where I work, I just don't not like my position where I position that I currently have. And for some of you, you may be thinking, well, you know what? I want out. I want out, you know, Dr. Kortni, I've tried, and it's just not a good fit. Well, this information in regard to this article gives you great insight to really think about and to process. So, because it really at the end of the day, we don't want to leave one job, right? Then go into another that seems to be the same old thing, just like I said earlier, right? Going into the next relationship, same guy or same girl. But a different name, right. So you don't want this it's in terms of the job dynamic. It's not the same thing. You're looking for something different. And maybe it's about feeling seen, supported, or even safe. So if you're ready to quit, I say spend some time this week and write all this in your well-being journal and really start visualizing what this new opportunity looks like. And begin to become clear on the type of workplace you deserve. And if you don't have a well-being journal, don't worry. We have you covered you can check out our newly revised wellbeing journal that creates a perfect place to visualize your happiness journey. You can download it for free by visiting again the episode page of this podcast at Dr. Kortni Alston dot com forward slash podcast forward slash episode 86 again as Dr. KortniAlston dot com forward slash podcast forward slash episode 86 And again, this is a free download. And it's a our well being journal that is newly revised and really ready to help serve you as it relates to your happiness journey. Always remember,

 Always remember this. Your well-being is your most important job. I'm always cheering you on. Thank you so much for listening